his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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