Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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