I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
