so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Who died my cat blue again?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
