I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
