I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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