Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
