Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
