He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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