Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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