You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
