idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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