how can u be prego again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
