Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
