I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
