If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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