I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
