Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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