Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
