You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize