It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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