we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
