life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
