Your tits are I can't wait for
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
