Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
