found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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