i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
