Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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