Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
