She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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