Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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