My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I want her autograph on my taint
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize