so explain again why im purple
no
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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