Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
