I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
