What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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