I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
