Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
