So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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