Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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