Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
