i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
