Where is the hickey?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize