i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
