Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
