Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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