she was so not down for the gang bang
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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