i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
