I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
