All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
