Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
