I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
