i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize