Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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