i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
