Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
