I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
