Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
