But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
