The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
