I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
